Jackin' the Ham

…and if that’s not a first-class euphemism, I don’t know what is.

I went by my mechanic’s yesterday to see what progress has made on the camper. It’s inside the shop, at least, which is definitely a step up from when I returned home. He’s actually gotten a lot done in just a few days. The coupler and v-shaped thingy on the tongue have been replaced, along with the front-end jack. Wayne is working on securing the pull-out step and the wheels are off so he can rebuild the brakes. Did you know a camper has its own brakes? I didn’t. But now that I know it, I like it. I’m hoping to make a test run to my friends Cass’s house in Vermont the week after next. My mechanic promised me it will be ready by then.

We’ll see…

On the show front, we’ve added a couple of folks to the production team. Mr. Dan Knechtges will be choreographing the show. If he can teach non-roller skating actors to look great in “Xanadu”, and can make adults look like kids dancing in “Putnam County Spelling Bee” he should be able to something with this lummox and his accordion. I’m lucky to have him, fer sure.

And there is an up-and-coming young fellow who’s offered to do a costume for me… what was his name… where’s that piece of paper… Oh, here it is: let’s see, someone called William Ivey Long will be consulting on the wardrobe. Frankly, a jockstrap and a pair of Converse hightops should do it, but I say let’s give the kid a chance. (You all know I’m kidding, right? I’m still pinching myself that William even agreed to take my call, much less work with me on this project. He truly is one of the most generous of humans.)

Other than that, the script tinkering is pretty much done until Kevin and I start rehearsing it in September. So I printed out a hard copy and am gearing up for the gargantuan memorization job. All 43 pages of it. Gulp.

I will be revisiting my past on September 9th when I’m the guest something-or-other at Will Clark’s Porno Bingo at Pieces on Christopher Street. Will was kind enough to ask me to join him even though I’m not really a porn star anymore. I called out numbers at one of his bingo nights a few years ago and, golly, but it was fun! I sat right by the door and announced people as they came in. “(The Duke and Duchess of Windsor, ladies and gentlemen.” “Please give a warm welcome to Miss Nanette Fabray!” Newcomers were generally confused.) More will be forthcoming when there’s more to come forth.

Until then, revel in the beauty that is the Canned Ham on blocks.

Won't You Help "Tom"?

“Tom” is a person with special needs. These include, but are not limited to, deportment lessons, an accordion teacher, a wardrobe consultant, and a new belt. And, frankly, a life. You can help “Tom” achieve these goals through your purchase of official Canned Ham merchandise. At present, these items include 100% cotton T-shirts in both brown and gray, and deluxe souvenir refrigerator magnets.*

Please visit the Canned Ham Merchandise page to purchase these items. By helping “Tom” you’ll also be helping, well, Tom.

*($1 of each magnet purchased will be donated to the Albany Damien Center, a community center for people living with HIV and AIDS in Albany, NY. Please click here for more info.)

Now that the PSA has been dispensed with, here’s the skinny on Canned Ham and all its various corollary projects:

The 2^nd draft of the script has been completed and I’m ready to work on a further revision with a director. Fortunately, I have a director: Kevin Malony, the brains behind TheaterTWEED, the man who helped introduce Lypsinka to the world at large, and the director of the legendary Fractured Classicks series is going to be whipping my butt (the only part of me that, at present, is not tanned) into shape for the premiere of “Canned Ham” mere weeks away. Kevin and I have known each other for—jeez—more than a quarter of a century but apart from a one-night all-star reading of “The Women” that he directed at Town Hall (in which I played scene change music at the onstage piano and sang for the fashion show) we’ve never actually worked together.

I’m very happy and excited to have Kevin on board for this.

I’m still planning to hit the road in the Canned Ham itself around October 1^st but there are a few dates lined up for the show before I leave. The world premiere will be a benefit performance for the Albany Damien Center, the wonderful HIV Community Center that was nice enough to employ me earlier this year before I left for Saba. That date is TBA, most likely the end of September. And Dixon Place in Manhattan will be hosting the New York City premiere for two performances on September 23/24. If anything else local falls into place I’ll be sure to post it here.

Until then I’ll be practicing the accordion, working up musical arrangements, revising the script, learning my lines and choreography (yikes!) and begging and pleading with my mechanic to please get the work done on the camper. He’s good but he’s none too speedy. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I cam home from the Caribbean a month ahead of schedule.

Finally (and this next is technically unofficial until a formal announcement,) starting in September I’ll have a monthly column on Advocate.com chronicling my travels around the country. I have mon ami Tom in Paris to thank for that.

Even Mickey is excited!

Joint Custody II

[This is the second entry to be posted simultaneously on both blogs.]

 

 

 

I killed ‘em on Booby Hill.

 

Since I wrote the first two drafts of “Canned Ham” here at El Momo, and since it was Patrick and Sophie’s invitation to come down here for the summer that inspired the writing of it in the first place, there was a nice poetic symmetry in giving the first public reading of the script this past Tuesday evening, here at El Momo.

 

We invited about a dozen of the friends I’ve made since my arrival on the island two months ago to a reading to be held in the dining pavilion.  Once people caught their breaths after climbing the stairs (6 storeys up from the road, remember?) I plied them with alcohol.  As all performers know, a slightly tipsy audience is a friendly audience.  No fool, I.  Patrick had casually mentioned a couple of days earlier that he’d “make some tapas” for the event.  Frankly, he lost control; he put out a spread that a) was beyond belief in its variety and tastiness (bacon-wrapped shrimp, sautéed celery, fish tempura cheese, crackers, pumpkin soup… I can’t even remember everything on the table) and b) made for a hard act to follow.  Suddenly I was appearing at the El Momo Dinner Theater.

 

When everyone was pleasantly stuffed with food and drink I said a few words to introduce the piece and then got underway.  Let’s just say I was pleased with the response.  I learned a lot about the text from both an actor’s perspective and from the point of view of the author.  Some things need to go, others can be fleshed out.  Some jokes didn’t work, some worked even better than I’d hoped.  Still other lines will remain but will be refashioned.  Frankly, it was an invaluable exercise, particularly in light of the fact that the references in the play are particularly American, and (thank God) I found that the scrip seems to work regardless of one's pop-culture frame of reference.

 

Flipping back through earlier blog entries I see that on April 3^rd of this year the idea of writing a show here on Saba and returning to the states to tour it around the country in the camper really solidified into the plan that is now in place.  Just three and half months later and a huge chunk of that plan—the script—is a reality.  There are some other details (fun stuff) that I’ll talk more about when I get back home and get things cookin’ on that end.  But for now, I can count my summer holiday on Saba a complete, total and utterly fabulous success.

And that’s not even counting my world-class tan line!