Thursday, April 9, 2009

Pretty... Shiny...

I’ve decided I’m going to look on my three months in the Caribbean as my own Yaddo.  My private MacDowell Colony.   My personal Landsberg Prison.  I’m going to go there with the intention of writing.  Hopefully I will produce something more akin to “Our Town” than to “Mein Kampf,” but I’ll settle for the royalties for either.  What could be more perfect than to have a three-month sojourn before taking off on a long trip around the country with the idea of performing a one-man theater piece for whoever I can get to stand still long enough to listen to it?  I shall be disciplined and focused on Saba; I will write the play I see myself performing in my mind’s eye.


And I really had better do so, because today I went and ordered the t-shirts for the tour.


Carla and Angie at the screening place were extremely helpful in getting my vision up and running.  The t-shirts will be chocolate brown with the logo on the front and this very blog address on the back.  Simple, stylish, available in the lobby.  In the photo Angie is holding the dog which they were amazed didn’t bark while I was there (until they commented on how it wasn’t barking.)


A little progress on the Ham itself:  I got everything cleared out that needed to go.  I replaced the kitchen table with the one from the other camper at Deb’s.  I Brillo’d the chrome knobs and cute little propane lamp to get them all clean and purty.  I bought a couple of outlets and wire for the, well, for the TV and surround system.  I placed some tiles on the floor to get an idea of what it will look like when that step is complete.


But most importantly, I put a coat of polyurethane on every possible wood surface.  I buy high-gloss polyurethane in huge quantities because it is—with the possible exception of silicone-based lube—the greatest substance known to man.  (I buy the lube in a 5-gallon container, too, but, alas, I’ve been going through a lot more polyurethane lately.)


Just look at that 50-year-old beauty glow!  Polyurethane—it’s truly a miracle.  It can give a dull old piece of wood a brilliant sheen and can cover up the smell of decades-old mouse urine.  Nothin’ like it in the whole wide world!


Here are some pictures for your perusal.  That last one… well, I had just gotten home from the gym and, uh, it was really warm out and, um, there was the tripod all set up and… Oh, just give me a break, will ya?  I didn’t get to this point by being coy.  (And at least I didn’t post the two subsequent frames.  Yowza!)  


  1. Very nice! And, can I tell you about something that happened this weekend?

    I was in GayMart in Chicago, and we were perusing the cards. I saw this card and went, "I think I read that guy's blog." And it was you. I'd never actually seen you naked, so, that was new. Kudos on that, by the way. But really, I just thought it was funny that I recognized you from your blog photo.

    And...subsequent frames? Now I'm curious.

  2. The trailer is looking great! And so do YOU btw WOOF!

  3. Looks as if you need a canned ham tee shirt my friend!

  4. Very funny about buying both polyurethane and lube in 5 gallon drums. Given that they're both used on wood it's a good thing you never confused the two...or have you?;0)