Sunday, May 3, 2009

"Auntie Hem, Auntie Hem!"

It’s curtains for me!


I no longer have to worry about the prying eyes of my RV Park neighbors.  Deb loaned me her Singer and I whipped up some lovely curtains in no time flat.  Quél difference!  Now all I need is glass in the windows!  (Two of them, anyway.)  I didn’t put anything over the capsule portholes in the sleeping area, but one is too high to see into and the other, well, I’ll figure something out when the time comes.


Later today, the floor tile will be going in.  I wanted to wait until all the big messes were done before doing that.  And installing the new water tank was pretty much the final potential messy job, so that’s out of the way.  The old tank weighed a ton and wasn’t that big.  The new one is lightweight poly(something) and holds 12 gallons.  Yaay!  It fit right into the slot and—having square corners—sits more secure than the old galvanized steel behemoth.  I shined up the sink pump and tap knob and we’re ready for some H2O!


I had some lovely musical accompaniment while installing the tank because—yes, dear readers—the surround sound is installed and working.  My friend Jim found a nifty little system that comes with small speakers and--even better--an iPod dock.  I ran a screw right smack into the speakers to hold them securely in place.  Same with the TV.  I mean, don’t you just hate when the home entertainment system goes flying across the house when you take a wide corner? 


But those wires… What to do about them?  There are gazillions of them in a home theater system.  Should I just staple them to the wall?  That’d look crappy and, besides, the walls of the camper are curved.  Ugh.  What to do, what to do…  A-ha!  If I run a bead of Liquid Nails on the contour of the wall maybe I can just set the wires right into it.  Yes!  It works just great!  So the wires are not only out of the way and secure, they’re virtually invisible.  (Note to self:  remind me to tell you I love you.)


I hot-glued the iPod dock to the TV shelf and fired her up.  The system volume goes up to 50.  I had it set to 4 and the place was rocking!  I can’t wait to settle back into the pillows and watch something like “Lawrence of Arabia” or “Close Encounters.”  What a riot!


I picked up the T-shirts the other day and they’re just swell.  I got to see the inner sanctum of the screening place and they even showed me the actual “Canned Ham” screen.  The machine they use for the T-shirts looks like a cross between Fredric March’s automatic tyepsetting machine in “The Adventures of Mark twain” and Paul Newman’s automatic painting machine in “What A Way to Go.”  (Two wholly obscure references, I know.)  But they still squeegee the ink onto the shirts by hand, which I thought was cool.   The place prints your logo onto virtually anything.  I’m thinking:  up next, refrigerator magnets.


A big Ham Holler to John, Bonnie, Tim, Spence, Lizzie, David, MJ, Irwin, Arlene, Amy, Bill, Randy, Allen and Scott for ordering T-shirts.  I look forward to seeing pictures of you in them on the Facebook page.  You’re blazing the trail! 


(A note on the exterior:  the polishing job is on hold.  After eight hours of hand polishing and sweating and messiness and not a whole lot of ground covered I decided to look for another option.  My friend Jeff at work suggested a pneumatic polisher like they use in a body shop.  I found one online and it’s on its way.  Until then the camper's going to sit with just one-third of one side shiny and bright and the rest of it quivering with antici-i-i-i... pation.)


  1. Sorry about that...

    Whaja mean by "What a Way to Go!" being an obscure reference? "Hop, hop, hop to Hoppers!"
    Besides all of those male co-stars, it has the bonus of a cameo by Marjorie Main. They don't make 'em like that anymore...except inside a camper. And on that subject, it really looks great (by the time you're finished polishing her up, you might have to worry about setting off brush fires from the sun's reflection as you drive along), The only addition I would suggest is a canary to rememdy the kerblewy concerns.

  2. Yikes, I meant Margaret Dumont.

  3. I'm glad you caught that--I really didn't want to have to correct you. By the way, it's Margaret Dumont's second appearance in a film written by Comden and Green. The first was........?

  4. Auntie Mame...In Midsummer Madness, I believe. I actually saw "What a Way to Go" when it was first released, in Monticello, NY. I love those screwball comedies Shirley made in the 60's, especially "John Goldfarb Please Come Home."

  5. Well done, Tom. The curtains are cute. You should fit right in with them yourself!

    And good idea on the pneumatic polisher. That'll knock the workload down by at least half.