The Horror

Glorifying the American Can

Just when you thought it couldn’t get more interesting, into the breach steps a force of nature known as Chi Chi LaRue.  Chi Chi, as some of you may know, literally “discovered” me in the best Schwab’s tradition in a bar in Minneapolis.  I was chatting with her the other day and telling her about my show and the whole Canned Ham project and, well one thing led to another and she said, “Tommy, [she’s the ONLY person I allow to call me that] why don’t I just produce the damn thing?”

 

And there was light.  And it was good.

 

I dunno, maybe she just wanted to make sure the references to her in the play are positive ones, but whatever the reason I’m thrilled as can be that the person who acted as my mentor when the whole thing started (and, let’s face it, Gus Mattox is the main reason you’re even reading this now) is going to be connected with this show.  In many ways I’m looking at “Canned Ham” as the culmination of the adventure that began that cold December night back in 2002 so there’s a certain sentimental richness having Chi Chi on board.

 

Certainly, now, there will be much more to come.  Stay tuned…  

Later, Dude.

I Can Get It For You Retail

Nature abhors a vacuum.  So do shoppers.  For the three months I’ll be on Saba the “Canned Ham” T-shirts will, of course, be unavailable.  Mickey possesses many wonderful attributes, but opposable thumbs are not among them so she will be unable to address mailing labels.  Enter Dan Turk.  Not only does Dan have opposable thumbs, he has a shop.  In Hudson, NY, the recently opened Count Turkoffky’s Department Store is a tiny emporium of wonderful objects, both wearable and non-.  And, as of yesterday afternoon, the Count is the exclusive source for the “Canned Ham” T-shirt.  Dan generously volunteered to feature the shirts in his inventory, right next to the hand-made vintage Rockmount Western shirts.  Such exclusive company!

 

So, if you should find yourself in front of no. 6 So. Fourth Street in Hudson this summer, drop in to see Dan.  And buy a shirt.  You’ll save yourself the shipping charge.  Sure you’ll have to spend the 7o bucks for the train up there, but it’s a nice ride.

 

Here are a few shots of Dan and his store.  You’ll notice he’s wearing a cape.  Everybody’s doing it.

The Reveal

I’ve written in years past of the importance—nay, the necessity—of counting among one’s friends top-notch photographers.  Not only do they generally make for stimulating conversation, it’s always very handy to have someone around with the ability to document one’s activities beyond what we mere mortals are capable of with our point 'n’ shoots.

 

What you see below I shall call “Exhibit A.”  Beth Schneck is a friend and fellow NYC expatriate who, among other things, used to photograph all the big time art exhibits at Sotheby’s in New York.  The stories of being alone in the studio with gazillion dollar artworks are thrilling.  My favorite Beth Schneck/Sotheby’s story involves a photograph she took for the cover of the Sotheby’s catalog of Jeff Koon’s “Hanging Heart.”  The story of getting a good shot of the metallic sculpture is interesting in its own right, but what intrigued me is that—due to its reflective surface—Beth herself is in the shot.  And not only was it the cover of the catalog, it was reproduced on a huge banner hanging outside of Sotheby’s for the auction.  The image was reproduced ad infinitum.  You may even have seen it yourself.  And if you have, you’ve seen Beth.

 

Her website is here, and it’s terrific.

 

This particular shoot came about because Beth likes to make portraits of people in their homes.  It was she who suggested the slight variation of doing my picture not in my house, but in the Canned Ham.  I had to think long and hard about that one.  For about two seconds.  What a great idea, I thought, and what a nice way to cap off the restoration project.   We got out the props and the wardrobe and Beth brought over a lighting setup which floored me, but which, as you'll see, really leant a quality to the pictures that instantly clues the viewer in to what-the-heck this "Canned Ham" thing is really all about.  It was terribly difficult for me to choose two pictures for this entry.  I more or less put my hand over my eyes and pointed, knowing that whichever image I chose would be great.  Mickey was not having it that afternoon, but Beth managed to get a couple that make my feline menace look engaged.  There is one particular shot that really sums up the entire vibe of the “Canned Ham” project in toto, but I think I’ll save that one for a special event.

 

In other Ham news, well, she’s done.  I’m sure, come fall, I’ll find one or two things I want to add, but I’m saying finis on my part of this reno project.  I got a new jack and caster wheel yesterday at the local RV place (where they are very patient with novices, by the way) and Monday AM my mechanic will come over, replace the wheels and tires and haul ‘er off for the—I’ve gotta say it—important restoration work.  Sure, glowing wood paneling and a surround sound TV are all well and good, but if the thing slides off the chassis going through the Great Smokey Mountains, nobody’s really gonna care.

There will probably be one more entry here before I direct your undivided summer attention to… 

Camera Ready

Here is just a little tease; Beth Schneck amidst the detritus of the first official photo shoot for “Canned Ham.”  Beth came over yesterday afternoon and worked her magic, creating an actual photo studio set in the backyard.  When she gets some images to me I’ll publish one here, possibly as soon as tomorrow.

 

You’ll be amazed.

Joint Custody

This is more than likely the only entry to be posted simultaneously on the Saba blog and the camper blog.  I just couldn’t decide where it was more appropriate, so it’s hitting them both.

 

Tickets have been secured for both legs of the trip to the Caribbean (JFK to St. Maarten; St. Maarten to Saba) and, even though it’s more than a week before I leave, I packed my bags.  I’m the world’s lightest traveler; for three months away I’ve two carry-on sized suitcases.  I figure sunblock and a couple of Speedos and I’m set. 

 

I’ve been so focused on the Canned Ham adventure that the mere act of packing for Saba got me excited all over again for this part of the project.  For that’s how I’m looking on the Saba trip, as the precursor to hitting the road in the fall.

 

But first I have to wrap things up here at home.  

 

My last day at the Albany Damien Center was a day of keeping emotions in check.  In spite of my brief tenure there, the place left a profound impression on me.  The typical response when telling people about my job was, “it must feel great to contribute in that way.”  When, in fact, the dividends from the job far, far outweighed my investment.  I strongly encourage everyone reading this to find some not-for-profit volunteer position.  Even if just a few hours a week.  You will be amazed at what it does for your state of mind.

 

At what was my final staff meeting (cake… singing... the whole megilah) I was asked about my plans post-Saba, and if I would be coming back to the ADC.  I said I would like to put in a few hours in September when I’m back from the Caribbean but that, no, I would not be returning permanently because of the Canned Ham tour I have in the works.  The conversation turned to what that was all about and it was then my boss, Dorothy, wondered if I might be interested in giving a benefit performance of the show in Albany before I head out on the road. 

 

The idea was so obvious I’m amazed I hadn’t thought of it myself.  So “Canned Ham” has its first official booking:  the world premiere of the show will be at a venue and date TBA sometime in September as a benefit for the Albany Damien Center.  After that I’ll probably get a one-nighter gig in NYC so it can be billed as “direct from New York.”

 

So now there is a world premiere engagement, T-shirts, refrigerator magnets and a developing itinerary.  Something’s missing, though.  What is it….?  Oh, yeah.  The show.  In point of fact, I’m already writing it.  The way I work on a writing project is ideas gestate in my head and I move things around mentally before sitting down to a blank page.  So it’s starting to take shape even if there’s nothing tangible.

 

Good thing I’ll have a project to work on while I’m on Saba.  I’d sure hate to get bored there.

 

 

 

The photo below is my peeps from the Damien Center on my last day.  This is a case of the gang’s not all here; a few key players are missing from the picture.