Jackin' the Ham

…and if that’s not a first-class euphemism, I don’t know what is.

I went by my mechanic’s yesterday to see what progress has made on the camper. It’s inside the shop, at least, which is definitely a step up from when I returned home. He’s actually gotten a lot done in just a few days. The coupler and v-shaped thingy on the tongue have been replaced, along with the front-end jack. Wayne is working on securing the pull-out step and the wheels are off so he can rebuild the brakes. Did you know a camper has its own brakes? I didn’t. But now that I know it, I like it. I’m hoping to make a test run to my friends Cass’s house in Vermont the week after next. My mechanic promised me it will be ready by then.

We’ll see…

On the show front, we’ve added a couple of folks to the production team. Mr. Dan Knechtges will be choreographing the show. If he can teach non-roller skating actors to look great in “Xanadu”, and can make adults look like kids dancing in “Putnam County Spelling Bee” he should be able to something with this lummox and his accordion. I’m lucky to have him, fer sure.

And there is an up-and-coming young fellow who’s offered to do a costume for me… what was his name… where’s that piece of paper… Oh, here it is: let’s see, someone called William Ivey Long will be consulting on the wardrobe. Frankly, a jockstrap and a pair of Converse hightops should do it, but I say let’s give the kid a chance. (You all know I’m kidding, right? I’m still pinching myself that William even agreed to take my call, much less work with me on this project. He truly is one of the most generous of humans.)

Other than that, the script tinkering is pretty much done until Kevin and I start rehearsing it in September. So I printed out a hard copy and am gearing up for the gargantuan memorization job. All 43 pages of it. Gulp.

I will be revisiting my past on September 9th when I’m the guest something-or-other at Will Clark’s Porno Bingo at Pieces on Christopher Street. Will was kind enough to ask me to join him even though I’m not really a porn star anymore. I called out numbers at one of his bingo nights a few years ago and, golly, but it was fun! I sat right by the door and announced people as they came in. “(The Duke and Duchess of Windsor, ladies and gentlemen.” “Please give a warm welcome to Miss Nanette Fabray!” Newcomers were generally confused.) More will be forthcoming when there’s more to come forth.

Until then, revel in the beauty that is the Canned Ham on blocks.