Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Won't You Help "Tom"?

“Tom” is a person with special needs. These include, but are not limited to, deportment lessons, an accordion teacher, a wardrobe consultant, and a new belt. And, frankly, a life. You can help “Tom” achieve these goals through your purchase of official Canned Ham merchandise. At present, these items include 100% cotton T-shirts in both brown and gray, and deluxe souvenir refrigerator magnets.*

Please visit the Canned Ham Merchandise page to purchase these items. By helping “Tom” you’ll also be helping, well, Tom.

*($1 of each magnet purchased will be donated to the Albany Damien Center, a community center for people living with HIV and AIDS in Albany, NY. Please click here for more info.)

Now that the PSA has been dispensed with, here’s the skinny on Canned Ham and all its various corollary projects:

The 2nd draft of the script has been completed and I’m ready to work on a further revision with a director. Fortunately, I have a director: Kevin Malony, the brains behind TheaterTWEED, the man who helped introduce Lypsinka to the world at large, and the director of the legendary Fractured Classicks series is going to be whipping my butt (the only part of me that, at present, is not tanned) into shape for the premiere of “Canned Ham” mere weeks away. Kevin and I have known each other for—jeez—more than a quarter of a century but apart from a one-night all-star reading of “The Women” that he directed at Town Hall (in which I played scene change music at the onstage piano and sang for the fashion show) we’ve never actually worked together.

I’m very happy and excited to have Kevin on board for this.

I’m still planning to hit the road in the Canned Ham itself around October 1st but there are a few dates lined up for the show before I leave. The world premiere will be a benefit performance for the Albany Damien Center, the wonderful HIV Community Center that was nice enough to employ me earlier this year before I left for Saba. That date is TBA, most likely the end of September. And Dixon Place in Manhattan will be hosting the New York City premiere for two performances on September 23/24. If anything else local falls into place I’ll be sure to post it here.

Until then I’ll be practicing the accordion, working up musical arrangements, revising the script, learning my lines and choreography (yikes!) and begging and pleading with my mechanic to please get the work done on the camper. He’s good but he’s none too speedy. Let’s just say it’s a good thing I cam home from the Caribbean a month ahead of schedule.

Finally (and this next is technically unofficial until a formal announcement,) starting in September I’ll have a monthly column on chronicling my travels around the country. I have mon ami Tom in Paris to thank for that.

Even Mickey is excited!


  1. You are adorable, Tom. When Canned Ham pulls into San Francisco, you must let me know and I'll run out to greet you-!

  2. Craig Austin ShipmanJuly 22, 2009 at 6:32 PM

    Finally! A post-Saba mention of Mickey! :)

  3. You need a life like Sarah Palin needs another kid. And as for the wardrobe; lose the toupee and you'll be fine.

  4. The thought of a blazing white butt contrasted with the rest of your tanned body gave me the vapors for a moment, but I'm better now.

    Much more seriously, will the Advocate column affect this blog? I mean, will your travel writings now be exclusive to the Advocate, or will you do both?

  5. Ok, I really *did* read the whole post, and it's all great BUT man, I'm havin' real trouble getting past the size of those feet and all that that entails. The mind boggles! ;o{)

  6. I've seen hot naked pics of Gus Mattox and I can honestly say it's tue what they say about big feet.

  7. Yes, Stan, he can never be Miss America.

  8. Ha! You all are hilarious...

    I couldn't be more excited to see the show.

  9. Hi, Tom, I like all the work you did and all that you are still doing....(and: keep on - awsomely - smiling, man: everyday, I need that warm look your eyes are revealing...unfortunately, I can only see it on film...)